Heavy Metal genres! - Complete guide!

[kwstas79]

Πόσες και πόσες φορές οι metalheads δεν έχουμε τσακωθεί επειδή κάποιοι νομίζουν ότι π.χ. οι Cradle of Filth είναι black ενώ οι Metallica είναι για τα μπάζα;

Πόσες φορές έχουμε αναρωτηθεί μέσα στην νύχτα κλαίγοντας "ΜΑ ΓΙΑΤΙ ΔΕΝ ΥΠΑΡΧΕΙ ΕΝΑΣ ΗΕΑVY METAL ΟΔΗΓΟΣ ΠΟΥ ΝΑ ΕΞΗΓΕΙ ΤΙ ΕΙΝΑΙ PROG KAI TI POWER;"

Μην φοβάστε και μην απελπίζεστε.

Σταματήστε τα κλάμματα (παλιόemo!).

Ο kwstas79 είναι εδώ για να διδάξει, να φέρει το Φως ως άλλος Προμηθέας.

Ιδού!

 

 

 

Heavy Metal genres! - Complete guide! version 0.1!

 

 

 

POWER METAL : The knight arrives on a white unicorn, manages to thwart the plans of the dragon, saves the princess and makes love to her in a magic forest.

 

TRASH METAL : The knight arrives, fights against the dragon, saves the princess and ****s the princess.

 

HEAVY METAL : The knight arrives on Harley Davidson, kills the dragon, drinks some beers and ****s the princess.

 

SPEED METAL : Knight-kill-dragon-save-princess-the-****

 

HARD ROCK : The knight arrives wearing short pants with a cap. The princess run away, disgusted.

 

BLACK METAL : The knight arrives, kills the dragon and drinks his blood, ****s the princess and drinks his blood, then sacrifices it to Satan.

 

SYMPHONIC BLACK METAL : The same thing but in smoothness.

 

HAIR METAL : The knight arrives with a hairstyle 80' S, sends a kiss to the princess and get crunched by the dragon.

 

FOLK METAL : The knight arrives with friends flutists and violonists, the dragon falls asleep, he saves the princess and marry her.

 

METAL-INDUS : The knight arrives in leather pants under an vinyl raincoat, ties the dragon with bondage accessories, insult him in German and makes use of it like lance-flame to set fire to the castle, while the princess, out of immaculate miniskirt, sings in top of the tower.

 

DEATH METAL : The knight arrives, kills the dragon, ****s the princess and kills her

 

BRUTAL DEATH : The knight arrives, kills the dragon, kills the princess and ****s her.

 

GOTHIC METAL : The knight arrives and kills the dragon. The princess falls in love with him, he marries her, the king gives him his kingdom, he's the hero of the people, it commits suicide without reason.

 

DOOM METAL : The knight arrives and commits suicide. The dragon eats his body and the princess.

 

GOTHIC METAL FEMALE SINGER : She charms the dragon by her song, arrives in front of the princess, takes her dress , takes her place, and waits that the drummer of her band to come.

 

ALTERNATIVE METAL : The knight arrives, refuses to form part of the system, shout "**** you!" to the princess and goes away.

 

VIKING METAL : The knight arrives in a boat, kills the dragon with an axe with two hands, cooks it, eats it, rape the princess and burns the castle.

 

PROGRESSIVE METAL : The knight arrives with a guitar and plays a 26 minutes solo, the dragon kills itself, the knight arrives close to the bed of the princess, plays another solo, the princess flees and will look for the knight heavy metal.

 

ATMOSPHERIC METAL : The skin of the dragon reflect the light of the Moon, the princess stays at her balcony have a melancholic look at the horizon, the wind blows gently in the trees of the forest. No knight.

 

GLAM METAL : The knight arrives late after preparing himself during 3 hours,the dragon dies after laughing at its sight, steals the make-up of the princess and paints the walls of the castle pink.

 

GRIND METAL : The knight arrives, shouts something perfectly incomprehensible during 2 minutes and goes away.

 

GORE METAL : The knight arrives, kills the dragon by spreading his entrails in front of the castle, **** the princess and kill her, re**** the body, section its stomach to puff out of them the tripe, re****s the carcass third once, burns the corpse and the re****s last once.

 

NEO METAL : The knight arrives, he gets scared when he sees the dragon then he remains in front of the ditches, by making obscenes gestures to the princess. Then he returns to the forest to masturbate.

 

TRUE BLACK METAL (A the OLD One) : The knight arrives stuffed, vomits in the ditches. Sacrifices the princess and starts a flirt with the dragon.

 

TRUE BLACK METAL (NEW WAVE) : The knight arrives and starts to explain to the dragon that he didn't understand anything, that he's not "evil". He kills the princess because she stopped him. The dragon, exasperated, puffs out it in spite of its bracelets with spades. No one should hit a lady (one can be dragon and gentleman )

 

WHITE CHRISTIAN METAL : The knight is virgin, the dragon is virgin, the princess is virgin, and they all 3 will finish in the fire.

[boukas]

Τσ τσ τσ τσ..... είσαι κακός.....

[SamTheRipper]

Έλεος ρε!Αλήθεια τι είναι το hair metal?

 

 

ΥΓ.Ωραίο το νέο avatar :lol:

[jmone]

Ο kwstas79 είναι εδώ για να διδάξει' date=' να φέρει το Φως ως άλλος Προμηθέας.

Ιδού!

[/quote']

 

Thank God For kwstas79 :lol: :lol: :lol:

 

το hair metal ειναι οι poison, kiss, cinderella και κάτι τέτοια γρουπ που το σύνθημα τους είναι "Give Me All Your Hairspray Or Die Hairspray Mother Fucker :twisted: :twisted: ) :lol: :lol:

[SamTheRipper]

Α δεν είναι δηλαδή να παίζεις metal με τα μαλλιά ε?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Γαμώτο...................

 

 

 

 

 

:sad:

[kwstas79]

Τσ τσ τσ τσ..... είσαι κακός.....

Είμαι παγκάκιστος, το ομολογώ.

Δεν φταίω εγώ όμως, ο Σατανάς με έβαλε...

[WizeMan]

Χαχααχαχχα ξεράθηκα στα γέλια, μέσα στο μαγαζί ρε παιδιά!!!

[panagiotis]

http://www.noiz.gr/modules.php?name=Forums&file=viewtopic&t=2413

 

είναι το ίδιο ή μου φαίνεται;

[jmone]

και έλεγα που το είχα ξαναδεί

[Betty The Raccoon]

Τσ τσ τσ τσ..... είσαι κακός.....

Είμαι παγκάκιστος' date=' το ομολογώ.

Δεν φταίω εγώ όμως, ο Σατανάς με έβαλε...[/quote']

 

Μην κοιτάς εμένα... :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: